Fuck the Fash Away — Fourth of July BBQ

Who says National Holidays aren’t Guerilla Theater?

I love subverting a major holiday.

The 4th of July is an easy fête to revolutionize. Everyone loves the summer food, the fireworks,¹ the lingering warm nights.

But the hypocritical Independence Day proclamations, and the rabid Christian nationalism, have got to go. Let’s heat it up!

(C)Al Frisbee, Susie and Jon and Mr. Serpent at Mercy Hot Springs — Don’t be afraid of garter snakes— or 4th of July parties. Make your own devil’s picnic . . .

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My BBQ this year has a theme: “Fuck the Fash Away - Fourth of July.”

I was inspired by the Canadian anthem, i.e., Peaches’ great song, Fuck the Pain Away.

Want to see the menu? I’ll confide my personal kitchen details below.

• Pig Roast: Ribs Galore.

• Buttery Cabbage Deep State Braise. This is about poetic technique. Follow to the letter.

• Hawaiian Sovereignty Macaroni Salad

• Sweet AntiCap Corn Salad

• PsyOps Cynar Spritz Punch

• Atlantic City Lemon Soda Cracker Pies

• Strawberries and Blueberries, Intifada Watermelon

• Eat the Rich Pinto Beans with EXTRA cheese

• Take this Regime and Shove It Homemade Tortillas

• “Grab a Blowtorch” — my ICE Sculpture

• Piñatas of the Bad Guys, filled with Agit Prop Candy

La Migra piñatas, found in your local hip mercado or Panaderia. This one’s in LA.

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FOOD TIPS

Pounds of pork ribs are the big splash, budget-wise. (That’s why guests who don’t RSVP will get a small serving of cereal).

I’ll shop at our beloved Groce-Out where they have a discount meat freezer display that takes up half the store.

I am sauce-curious, yes. I already have leftover Bachan’s Japanese bbq sauce and Larrupin’s, so it will probably be a marriage the two.

All my other dishes are cheap and pure-July. The anchovy-cabbage recipe I’m sharing here, is from the Prune kitchen, a poem of technique. Follow Gabrielle’s braising technique to the last touch.

Another sneaky-cheapie, thanks to Willow Pennell: Hawaiian-style macaroni salad. This is not your bad-memory-from-the-cafeteria model. The secret ingredient is extra-yolky Kewpie mayonnaise, and a can of tuna fish, which no one even knows is in the mix. The shredded tuna melts into the pasta and veggies, lifting the flavor like an island taste on your fingertips.

For the Corn salad— I like a slightly warm version. I add a few freeze-dried hatch chili pieces along with my cherry tomatoes and green onions.

My “intifada watermelon” and berries will be a towering bowl of sliced fruit.

Let’s wade into the beans controversy now: I applaud you, whether it’s plain pintos or smashed refritos.

I will not tell anyone if you use canned. Yes, the Instant Pot makes incredible beans with nothing but the legumes and salt. But you could always use a Dutch oven and just let the aroma fill your day.

Want to get crazy on the flavor? Add lime juice, sautéed onions and garlic, cumin, chiles, chicken broth. Bay leaf in the pot. Any aromatics or warming spices make sense. A little extra lard, bacon grease? Why not? Do all of it.

The best cookbook I use for all things masa is my 1987 edition of Authentic Mexican, whether it’s fresh tortillas or tamales. This time though, I’m going to pick up my pre-made order from the local Mercado. You can freeze them ahead in bulk.

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DRINKS

Every year my guests praise my punch, but I get scoldings: “Susie, I cannot get BOMBED again on your concoctions.”

Maybe it’s a backhanded compliment? Is their willpower and lack of sunscreen my entire responsibility? ;-)

I make sure there’s plenty of soda and juice, water and ice. I make a colorful virgin punch.

However, I must have an intoxicating drink for the nation’s birthday. After all the Revolutionary Army was “run on rum.”

This year I found a cocktail recipe that looked vaguely sinister on paper, but it tasted divine: The Cynar Spritz.

It’s Cynar (“Chee”-NAR) liqueur with Prosecco bubbles and the mind-altering coup de grâce: grapefruit soda. It’s easy to multiple for a punchbowl. Either use the La Croix Pamplemousse, or, if you are lucky enough to have a fresh grapefruit growing in the yard right now, pluck it and add seltzer.

SUSIE SPECTACULAR

My spectacular this year, is going where no snowbunny’s gone before: a summer-revolution ice sculpture.

An ICE sculpture, yes, that we’ll destroy at the end of the party with blow torches, if the California sun doesn’t melt it first.

At first I was bedeviled how I was going to make an ice installation in a California kitchen. I even talked to the ice companies who cater weddings— they were puzzled (thrilled?) by my political request.

No matter! I discovered you can order resin or silicon ice molds, in large sizes, that specialize in letters of the alphabet! And boy, do I love to spell.

I am going to retain an element of surprise before the party, but let’s just say I am sculpting a massive power rebuke in a dish best served COLD.

I never tire of my wine glasses you can write on.

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So what are you doing for your day off? Hot dogs? Steak? Knock a few balls around? Bingeing on The Pitt for the second time?

I hope you have a worthy day off and loving comradeship, some hope on a slice, and all my pie crust kisses!

Susie

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In Case You Missed It

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1. Okay, the doggies don’t like it. Some humans. I love the colorful explosions into the night sky!