Behind the Bar - My Kitchen Escape Hatch
“My destination is no longer a place, rather a new way of seeing."
I think women come to drinking culture a little differently than men. By tradition, we serve! As I was raised, we cook for family. Women sense the occasion, and it often involves children. Before I became the neighborhood cocktail fairy, I was known for milkshakes. My sweet tea was right on time, too.
But, as luck would have it, during the early ‘00s, I read a book about US history as seen through alcohol— its production, consumption, prohibition, regulation.1
The bent politics of libation aroused my curiosity. Why did people die for this? Just the money? The history of American intoxication is blizzarding. And women were at the forefront of its experiment in prohibition.
I composed a letter several years ago to tiki historian Jeff Beachbum Berry, with my admiration for what he’d contributed to the “people’s history” of the cocktail.
He and I had a great talk about the politics of drink. But he also told me to, you know, to “TRY ONE.”
The match was lit, and the ensuing years cast a warm glow. Martin Cate devised a cocktail, “The Sexpert,” in my honor! I wrote a viral eggnog recipe. I became a drinkmaker with opinions.
Would you like to see what’s in my cabinet?
My cupboard has seen many changes. I had well-meaning friends drop off bottles of blue curaçao their grandparents never finished. Half my family stopped drinking altogether during COVID, while others want to be “gently mocked.” (Low ABV drinks). I tried making hootch, (yes to Nocino!) and growing trees in my garden for the garnishes.
I started taking notes on visits to New Orleans. I can make the Sazarac that James Jones serves at The Ice House. You learn more about drinking in a day of doing nothing in the French Quarter, than is possible anywhere else in the world.
It was at the spot next to Café Du Monde where I learned about the tastiest non-alcoholic drink you can serve to a friend: Soda and Bitters, a.k.a. The Surly Temple.
My book/drink habit continued. British authors are a treasure trove. Ian Fleming was such a gourmand, he created The Vesper, a drink I will never refuse. (Did you know his fudge recipe in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is also the best?)
Between Somerset Maugham, John Le Carre, and Agatha Christie’s Pink Gin, not to mention Graham Greene, you are going to be schooled. They imbue cocktails with human character; it becomes part of the plot.
Want an American side? Charles Portis is waiting for you. Dorothy Parker has your number.
I like the idea of a drink as a gift. Making a beverage for someone is a loving thing to do— for a friend after work, for someone who’s laid up sick— or a celebration of their birth. And as a toast to one’s loved ones around a table, a raised glass is like a prayer— you invoke something.
I’ll describe what’s in my bar cupboard, not in the order of spades, but rather in the order of unusual things I do you might find interesting. These are the things I don’t see in many other people’s kitchens, let alone the commercial trade.
LES SPECIALITIÉS DE MAISON
A Citrus Mist—Orange, Lemon, and Lime Oils
King Arthur Baking baking oils are a revelation. They are tiny bottles of unadulterated citrus oil. I pour the oils into a tiny mist bottle, and then gently spray the top of my drink. You can replace a fruit garnish, or enhance.
Armor & Hammer Saline Solution
A pinch of salt or saline solution is the all the rage today to “smooth” and “glow” a cocktail. I realized I had the easy solution in my medicine cabinet. One of the sinus-relief sprays! It is truly JUST saline, as they promise you.
You spray it into your cocktail shaker with the rest of the ingredients, and voilà. Try it in any whiskey drink for starters. No, your drink will not taste salty — it’s just more cozy.
My Bar Tools
The Classic Lenin Shaker - Also known as the Kikkerland Mix Master. This is a glass shaker designed in the 20th Century— still for sale today, thank goodness. The surface of the glass features pictures and recipes of trendy drinks from the period, like “Sex on the Beach,”2 and . . . a “White Russian.”
What’s so funny, is that the WHITE Russian pictured on the shaker is a photo reproduction of the notorious RED Russian, Vladimir Lenin. The designer ripped it off from the one photo ever taken of Lenin smiling— his sister snapped it. V.I. waves his merry cap, his eyes twinkling like Santa Claus. The Dude Approves!
Difford’s Measure is mixologist Simon Difford’s gift to the world: A perfect measuring cup for the arcane needs of cocktail formation. When you need, for example, 1/12th of an ounce of Pernod in your drink, this measuring instrument is precise.
The tiny aluminum spray bottles I use to store Absinthe, lemon oil, etc.
A superb paring knife: As good as a Wüsthof.
Mini-measuring spoons. Yes, there is a legal definition of a tad, a dash, etc. Arcane and awesome.
ICE - collect every kind of ice implement and ice tray you can.
Ice is the single MOST important part of a cocktail, the dilution of hard cold water.
The Green Fairy - Absinthe
After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were.
After the second, you see things as they are not.
Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.
-Oscar Wilde
There is no substitute for absinthe. One bottle will last you at least half a lifetime. I pour a small amount into a tiny spray bottle, and that is how I coat the glass. Now go make yourself a Sazarac.
One Bottle To Last Forever: Split with a Friend!
There are a few drinks that are so special, you wouldn’t want to live without them— yet you’re NOT going to make them every day. A full bottle of one of the odder/rarer/expensive liquors would last you, at a gently-used home bar, for years.
My suggestion: split a bottle with your best home-mixologist friends. Sharing is caring. Here’s a list of the worthy lesser-known’s:
Allspice Dram: to make a Navy Grog. It is the homely, but best-tasting Don the Beachcomber Tiki ever created.
Crème de Violette - So beautiful! The scent of violets in your Aviation.
Chartreuse - What a beautiful French concoction. It is the monkish secret recipe that lent its name to the color. What do I like it in? Champagne!
Kummel, my dear. I can’t believe what I’ve learned about drinking from this caraway seed liqueur. The Bearskin Martini alone . . .
The Italian answer to everything is a tall bottle, shared among friends, of Luxardo Marischino. With it, you make the Aviation, a proper Daiquiri, The Last Word, the Martinez, and the Clover Club Whisky Cocktail.
Cynar - I know the Italian classic isn’t made from our local artichoke fields, but I hold out hope. I want local cynar! It’s my favorite substitute for Campari in a Negroni.
Liquor
I would say my mainstays are Rye, Gin, and Tequila. Not in the same glass. The rye Sazarac is my long-standing affair.
Did you know you can pick the berries off the plentiful California junipers, soak them in vodka, and voilà? You’ve just made gin. Add a few peppercorns and star anise.
My favorite offbeat gin martini is called The Special. And also, the Vesper. Toujours la Vesper.
For anyone who lives in the desert diaspora, where the agave plant prospers, we’re always going to treasure tequila. My father once took me, in the 80s, to the Herradura agave finca in Mexico where the plantation overseer found us staring at the property’s ironwork gates, our car parked on the dirt road. This was before Herradura became a household name in the U.S.
The foreman picked me up and put me on his horse, to give us a tour! They still used mules yoked to a wheel, to grind down the agave pulp, and the labels were glued on, one by one, in a kitchen of six women.
Trends will come and go. A little Ranch Water and thou, is still the finest liquid for a dark starry Western night.
Degistifs and Fortified Wines
You need vermouths to make the classic drinks: Dry Vermouth for the martini, Sweet vermouth for the Manhattan,3 and all the rest. There’s no cocktail culture without these liquids, and yet they are taken for granted.
You’ll love vermouths to make low-ABV cocktails, along with that sneaky customer, sherry.
I also discovered Vermouth Blanc, which is tiny bit different from regular “dry” vermouth, but a revelation. Just to make a Bamboo, it’s worth it.
I always have a bottle of Lillet, to make The Vesper, and The Corpse Reviver. But also… served alone with soda and ice on a warm afternoon.
I’ve fooled with all the sherries. My go-to is Amontillado sherry — known as a “medium-bodied” drink. And Edgar Allan Poe’s favorite! It’s delicious alone, and also substitutes for gin in almost anything. Read Cocktails With Suderman for all the sherry-licious details; he’s taught me a lot.
La Renée
You know, we conjure up and name drinks . . . Because, they are stories we don’t want to forget.
I made a cocktail in Renée Good’s memory.
“La Renée”
1 1⁄2 oz. Rye
1 oz. Dry Vermouth
1⁄3 oz. fresh lime juice
1⁄6 oz. Grenadine syrup
1⁄12 oz. Agave Syrup
1 fat dash of Peychaud’s bitters
1 blast of Armor and Hammer saline spray
Whom I Read About Mixology
Cocktails with Peter Suderman, Jeff Beachbum Berry, Sippin’ Safari, Martin and Rebecca Cate’s Smuggler’s Cove, Dr. Cocktail’s Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails, and Simon Difford, especially his “The Cocktail of the Day.”
In Case You Missed It
I refuse to discuss this recipe, it’s too horrible to be further publicized
Do you realize there’s a classic cocktail for every borough except Queens and Staten Island? Don’t they want their own?
What a delightful rundown of those mysterious, seething cupboards of creative cocktail creation in our kitchen.
That’s a fascinating approach to absinthe! I had a friend who had an absinthe spoon and did the whole sugar cube drip thing. It was a beautiful color.