I’ve been remiss.
Late October is our last harvest, the new moon, the month the Mayor of Chicago called for a General Strike— and I haven’t told you a damn thing about what I’ve been stirring in the pot.
We’re going to need replenishment.
Let’s begin with a cautious happy hour. I think we’ll ease into our better spirits.
To that end, I have found a neglected recipe I’d like to share with you: “The Special Martini.”
This is a cocktail that speaks to playwright Oscar Wilde, who described its “special” ingredient, absinthe, to devastating effect:
After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.
Wilde didn’t invent this drink; it is credited to Henry Craddock and his 100-year-old cocktail manual, still in print, The Savoy Cocktail Book. It is an ode to all things in exactitude.1
Sometimes— not every day, but SOMETIMES, you must have a drink where measurement is precise. The tools are essential, and the calculus cannot be muffed. You are the chemist.
Such is the case with the Craddock “Special Martini.”
What makes accuracy possible for kitchen slobs like me, are the RIGHT TOOLS.
I make this drink with “mini measuring spoons” which are finely-tooled ladles for drops, smidgens, pinch’s, dashes, and tads.
Yes, there is a precise measurement for a TAD, and you are about to find out!
The other tool I use is the jigger measuring cup innovated by the Englishman, Simon Difford.
It is difficult to get the tool in the United States, so I’m going to give you the last link that worked for me: snap it up.2
Here’s why it’s worth it: Simon’s perfect measuring cup allows you to measure out as litte as 1/12 of an ounce, or 1/24 of an ounce! —Which you will need for the orange blossom water.
Can you figure the proportions with a less precise shot glass? I’m sure you could approximate, but it won’t be the CONTROL FANATIC level you need to make this cocktail.
One escape hatch if you can’t get your hand on the tools today: You could make The Special Martini in quantity. If you make the “Special ” for six people (or three very good friends) you could use conventional barware.
Shall we?
One last caveat: some martini snobs are going to protest when they see the ingredients: “This isn’t a DRY martini!”
No . . . is a non-dry martini that will creep into your soul. Trust me. I’m a dry martini fetishist; I have simply whispered “vermouth” above a coupe. I get it.
This beverage will change your mind.
“The Special Martini” for Six
Pre-chill your glasses, and don’t skip this step. If you don’t have room in your freezer, fill six glasses with ice and let them sit while you prepare.
8 ounces of London Dry Gin. —I used Plymouth. Don’t use an overly floral variety.
3 ounces Sweet Vermouth
2/3 ounce Orange-Blossum Water
1 ½ teaspoons Absinthe (or 12 dashes if you have the mini measuring spoons)
.75 teaspoon Angostura Bitters (or six dashes if you have the mini measuring spoons)
Shake over ice, hard. Strain over your glasses.
Zest an orange over EACH.
Damn. Wait til you try this.
Single Serving
The single serving goes like this:
2 oz. gin, ¾ oz. sweet vermouth, 2 dashes absinthe, 1 dash Angostura bitters, 1⁄24 oz. Orange Blossom water.
Serve with an expressed Orange Rind.
The Grub
What did I serve my Special Martini with?
At first, it was just a handful of pistachios.
But, I later made a sumptuous meal out of next to nothing. I made beans and rice, from scratch. You cannot pair a martini with anything better. It is the caviar of cowboys, as you will discover.
I am a cult member of the Rancho Gorda Mayocoba Bean. Why? I mean, I love legumes of all kinds. But Rancho’s Mayocoba are renowned for their creaminess. The creaminess that makes grown men cry. You doubt me? Just read the customer reviews, they’re practically pornographic.
So here’s how I make and serve my Mayacoba’s:
Rinse a package of Mayacoba beans in a colander. Then put them in a large bowl with water that covers them, at least 2” over the beans.
You are going to be PATIENT and leave them to soak overnight. It will make such a difference.
Next day: In a large pot, sauté onions with a little bit of canned anchovy and bacon fat. If you’d like to add some cut squares of bacon, go for it. Sprinkle on the salt, pepper, and MSG. Yes, you heard me. You need the umami.
Caramelize those onions. The deeper they go, the better. Low heat=caramelization.
When the onions are brown and melty, saute a few teaspoons of chopped garlic, plus lots of thin-sliced celery and carrot in olive oil or more fat. I recommend chopping your own fresh celery and carrot, rather than buying the pre-made mirepoix, if you can find the time. Your Cuisinart will make short work of it.
I also added: a heaping tablespoon of Hatch chiles. I don’t like my beans picante but I like that unbeatable boost of flavor. Salt and Pepper, too.
After the veggies are soft, add beans and enough water to cover by about 2 inches. Splash in a bit of sherry vinegar, or any wine vinegar.
Bring to a full boil for 15 minutes.
Reduce heat to a low simmer, using a lid to help regulate the heat, and gently cook until done, 1.5 to 2 hours. This is where the pre-soaking shines through. I put my smallest burner on its lowest flame, and left it alone.
Test the flavor for salt when the beans start to soften.
Once they’re done, I took a potato masher (or a hand blender) and smushed the bean mixture for a couple minutes. I wanted the broth creamier, but still plenty of whole beans. You’ll see. It makes a lovely difference.
After I was done with my beans, I made white rice, and Bob’s your uncle.
I defy you to find a better accompaniment to a gin martini.
Mood Music
In Case You Missed It
Hong Kong Juk for Everyone
Making savory rice porridge is easy and yummy. It’s called “juk” and “congee” in most parts of the world.
I want to say one more word about Craddock’s contribution: If you never made a single cocktail outside of his list, you would be considered a maestro of the fine ice. It’s never been surpassed.
(Simon’s jigger is no longer on Amazon, I’m sure because they tried to make Simon give it away for free. Arghh).
Not only do you make GIN martinis, but also enjoy Sazeracs with sprayed absinthe. The Special Martini sounds incredible.
As if I needed additional reasons to love you unconditionally.
The use of absinthe reminds me of a cocktail I discovered several years ago at the now-defunct Zero-Zero in San Francisco called Violet Death in the Afternoon. It immediately appealed to my goth-ish cyberpunk sensibilities and is based on a drink invented by Papa H. during his Left Bank days.
In a chilled glass like the one in your hand, put three ice cubes and half a jigger of absinthe. Fill the glass about 2/3 with Prosecco, then pour enough Creme de Violette for the desired color. Stir thoroughly.
After seeing a faux president pretend to throw shit at American cities, and demolish part of The People's House for a fucking gold-plated vanity room, drink 3 to 5 of these, VERY slowly.