Stephen, We Hardly Knew Ye — Let’s Answer His Top 15

Colbert has turned out the CBS lights — but we have a few more zingers in the can.

May 22, 2026

To honor the end of The Late Show, the First Amendment as we knew it on television, and Stephen Colbert’s expulsion from CBS upon the command of our Tyrant-in-Chief . . .

I thought we could play the getting-to-know-you game that Stephen enjoyed with his guests.

Ready?

I’ll do mine, and then I’ll set up a survey for you.

I’ll report all results in a few days! The poll will be open for 3 days, so hop to it!

Susie’s Answers to Colbert’s 15

1. What’s the best sandwich?

French Dip. In my hometown, it’s at The Silver Spur, or the Parish Publick House. In LA, of course: Phillipe The Original.

2. What’s one thing you own that you really should throw out?

My regrets!

Lake Street, in San Francisco. © SBright

3. What is the scariest animal?

Baby, you know it’s the crazy nastyass honey badger.

4. Apples or oranges?

This is the hardest question of the bunch, but I think I could not live without citrus.

I love making ambrosia with oranges and tangerines at Xmas.

5. Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?

When I was very little, I was taken to the Pasadena Playhouse for a children’s production, and we were given tiny autograph books, spiral bound and the size of our hands, to present to the cast after the show.

Silent star Theda Bara autographed her photo for my grandmother Agnes, when she was a young nickelodeon piano player in Fargo ND.

6. What do you think happens when we die?

Ashes to ashes. Our living loved ones make a place where they can come sit, talk, and think about us.

Jon and I making a rubbing of Honey Lee’s headstone, Decatur, Michigan. © Mike Cottrell 2015

7. Favorite action movie?

Maybe, the first Terminator. I can still remember my screaming in the theater. SCREAMING.

8. Favorite smell?

The pillow of someone you love.

My daughter made these pillow cases, and she also, one year, gave me this bunny for Easter, which smelled like PEEPS.

9. Least favorite smell?

Baby skunks losing it outside my window.

We were leaving a Cafe in Davenport and going to our car, and we saw this mother skunk who was worrying over a milk bottle lying in the middle of Highway 1 that had a little skunk with its head trapped inside. And despite the incredible Danger that he would get sprayed, Jon approached the “victim” and gently broke the bottle releasing the baby, and neither the kit nor the mother sprayed him. I was screaming the whole time. Anyway, I asked him to draw it this morning because I can’t find the photo.

10. Exercise: worth it?

Uh . . . Try to disguise it as something else, like having fun.

11. Flat or sparkling?

At first glance, I thought this question said,” flat or spanking?” —I’ll always take the “S” word.

This drink is called The White Walker and I invented it for the debut of one of the old GOT episodes. Those Sunday dinners were epic.

12. Most used app on your phone?

Text or email. Or maybe, the timer. (Cooking).

13. You get one song to listen to for the rest of your life: what is it?

But such a practice would ruin it! — I’ll tell you what I’ve been listening to on repeat lately:

14. “What number am I thinking of?”

No guest, apparently, ever guessed Stephen’s number! Was it #14?

For our purposes, let’s change this question to What Is Your Favorite Single Digit Number? Mine has always been SEVEN. I I think because it has two syllables, and it’s beautiful to draw with a pen.