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A Vasectomy Fairy Tale by Martha Kimes
This Friday’s Unreliable Narrator story is by Martha Kimes, who always gives me a laugh when I most need it! I’ll be back from vacation, next week . . .
Once upon a time, there was a couple named Karen and Ted, who were happily married. But it was time for them to have "The Talk."
One sunny afternoon, Karen broached a difficult subject with Ted.
"Ted," she said. "Do you see that roller coaster awkwardly placed in the back of this picture that we're in? That roller coaster is a glaring metaphor for all of the pregnancy scares that I've had over the years. I do believe that it's time that we talked about permanent birth control. As in, permanent birth control for men."
"Let's wait to discuss this over coffee while sitting on our futon couch," said Ted.
And so they waited.
"I don't know that a vasectomy is really necessary," said Ted. "Just seeing you sitting there in those blue leggings and old gym socks might be enough to guarantee that we never have sex again."