“No Words” - How To Ask for Things Without Falling On Your Dick

The Art of Asking for Kind and Essential Favors

A writing colleague of mine was widowed last month. To his amazement, he’s been getting multiple emails along these lines:

Dear T—,

I heard of your loss last week. No words.

I really need you to do ___________ by Monday.

Really appreciate it,

Ta!

Some nerve, eh? NO WORDS.

As the two of us shared some dark chuckles, I switched topics. “You know, a couple times, was an editor, I had to reach out urgently to an artist who was dying. There was something that needed to be signed, or faxed, or the deal wouldn’t go through, the book wouldn’t be produced, etc. I wouldn’t have asked except I had a sixth sense that it would mean a lot to them.”

In one of those cases, I once had an author who literally ripped out her IV drip to get their signature to me. When you’re dying, legacy can be everything.

But still— how do you ask for things, from anyone, when you don’t know what they might be going through?

How do you ask for anything with appropriate gravitas and dignity — or maybe some well-timed wit?

Every writer comes to a point where they need an introduction or a kindness, a big favor, from a writer or editor who has pull. —Someone whose name and word could really make a difference in getting published, or readers discovering you.

AND, every editor has to ask their authors to do things that can be like pulling teeth. There is no way to get around the pressure.

(C) Phyllis Christopher. This would be the ideal way to ask ME for a favor. Jill Posener had the right idea. I might be able to accommodate you.

We’ve all been asked or leaned on for gratuitous favors, or gotten the hard sell — it’s horrible! No one wants to be guilt tripped or dogged into anything. So how do you do this with dignity *when it is necessary* and you need to get to “yes”?

And how the fuck do you say “NO” and actually get people to respect you for it?

I’m teaching my first Masters Publishing Class of Spring ‘24, next Thursday, March 7. It’s called: “How to Ask for Kind & Essential  Favors in Publishing”

Register here.

I’ll be contacting you personally before class to get your anonymous yet relevant latest example of this dilemma. Bring me your asks! Your perplexing rejections! Your letters that got ghosted! The hard letters you have to write yourself.

I’ve got answers for you. See you in class!

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