“No Words” - How To Ask for Things Without Falling On Your Dick

The Art of Asking for Kind and Essential Favors

A writing colleague of mine, Tom, was widowed last month. To his amazement, he received multiple “work” emails over the next few weeks, people who wanted favors or sought his expertise:

Dear T—,

I heard of your loss last week. No words.

I really need you to do BLAH BLAH, by Monday.

Really appreciate it,

Ta!

“No words” is right! As the two of us cracked up, I switched topics. “You know, a couple times, was an editor, I had to reach out urgently to an artist who was dying. There was something that needed to be signed, or the deal wouldn’t go through, the book wouldn’t be produced, etc. I wouldn’t have asked except I had a sixth sense that it would mean a lot to them.”

In one of those cases, I once had an author who literally ripped out his IV drip to get their signature to me.

When you’re dying, legacy can be everything.

But still— how do you ask for things, from anyone, when you don’t know what they might be going through?

How do you ask for anything with appropriate gravitas and dignity…